Justice Scalia and His Meta-Canon of Absurdity

A blind woman sits at home eagerly searching the Internet. She has recently purchased brand new software that allows her, for the first time in her life, to access this new invention, the World Wide Web. She is finally going to be able to do one of the many things she has never been able to do before—buy furniture without the help of anyone at all. This brand new software of hers will read, out loud, the description of every piece of furniture pictured on the website, allowing her to “browse” at her own pace, through the entire inventory of her favorite store. She will be able to compare prices, explore fabric options, even color coordinate. The independence that this will grant her cannot be measured in monetary terms. It will be the first time that a friend or family member is not burdened with the duties of driving her to a store and standing behind her while describing the various colors, shapes, and details of every piece of furniture. It will be the first time that she will not have to second guess the advice of the store clerk who, when faced with a blind woman, will readily lie about what looks good just to make a commission. It will also be the first time that she will be able to shop without knowing that every pair of eyes in the store is focused on her and her ubiquitous white cane that no matter what color you paint it, still looks exactly like what it is, and never fails to draw attention.

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